Reverence and Formality
I grew up in the countryside in central Illinois. The nearest kids my age where a mile away.This is when I became a teenager in the mid-1970s. When the weather allowed, I was out with my friends from early morning until dusk (don’t get me started on my mom’s seemingly undefinable definition of dusk).
We were all taught in those days (under threat), to refer to other parents in a formal manner. For example, “Mr. Willheight” or “Mrs. Childs” was how I was to address them. And we were to do this until such a time when they asked you to call them by their first name, which rarely happened; if ever. Now, as a side amusement, Mr. Willheight never remembered the kids in the neighborhood’s name and referred to all of us as ‘bud’ (he had several children).
Fast forward, about the time my son started talking, my young family moved to New Orleans, and we all were exposed to the social protocol in the south. In the south, unless the adult preferred the more formal form as I learned in Illinois, the child referred to the adult as Mr. or Miss and their First name. For example, our pastor and his wife would be referred to as Mr. Patrick and Miss Chellie.
To say I liked the new protocol would be an understatement. I thought it was the perfect compromise between the formal and the informal. It kept the distinction between adult and child without the over formality and stuffiness I was raised with. And so, about the time our son entered grade school, we moved again to a northern state, and he learned the opposite level of formality. Every adult there was referred to by their first name except for teachers, principals and doctors. I struggled with my desire to want to impose the southern way realizing that it was a lost cause. Our son seemed to roll with the punches, so to speak, and quickly adopted the new social protocol. Even as an adult with my upbringing, I’ve conformed to the current societal expectations of referring to most people by their first names (except for professionals where I’m seeing them in a professional setting such as a doctor’s visit). This hasn’t been without some growing pains by my wife and I.
At a previous church, I ran into the pastor at a grocery store. When I came home, I told my wife that I ran into Neil. She wasn’t ready to refer to a pastor by his first name. I was very glad when Patrick told us that he preferred to be referred to as Patrick - it took the decision off our plate.
I’ve thought about familiarity versus formality many times and, at this point in my life, I’m comfortable with my distinction.
I often must consider whether or not I give God the formality and reverence he deserves.
“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.” - Proverbs 1:7 ESV
“Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire.” - Hebrews 12:28-29
“Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in his ways! You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands; you shall be blessed, and it shall be well with you. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord.” - Psalm 128:1-4
“By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us.” - 1 John 4:13-19 ESV
I long to give God the reverence and formality he deserves and desires.
