Merit
I’ve always longed for my contributions to be appreciated. I’m not talking about public gratitude or rewards (although rewards are awesome! Just kidding.) I guess what I mean is that I’ve always believed if you try your hardest and work hard and are successful, it should mean something. For example, I’m auditing a class at Washburn. And as an auditor, I don’t have to do any “work” (papers, projects, exams) for the class since my attendance and work do not count towards a degree. However, my preference is to do all the work the kids are doing and try to get a faux “A.”
As another example… As our son was growing up, he’d occasionally want something special, out of the ordinary (think of a new bike or a new electronic game cartridge). For the most part, he asked for reasonable things that we could provide to him but we didn’t want to just give him things because he wanted them (or really, really wanted them as he’d describe it). So, we’d strike a bargain with him to rake leaves or pick up spiky gum tree balls or something like that. When he’d tell us he was finished as much as he could, before even looking, we’d ask him if he did the best job he could do. More than half the time, he’d go back and work on it some more. We never realized what an impression we made on him until he became an adult and could explain how that question impacted his entire work ethic in life.
But - and this is the hard part - nothing I do will make me deserving of God’s grace in saving me. As much as I’d like to make myself worthy, I’ll never deserve my salvation. That is both a freeing and humbling position to be in.
I read a devotion this morning by R.C. Sproul that slammed me upside the head. I’d like to share an excerpt with you:
“The irony of the theology of meritorious suffering is that it tends to produce the very opposite effect from its original intention. What began as a call to humble willingness to suffer became an insidious tool for self-righteousness. Perhaps the most difficult task for us to perform is to rely on God’s grace and God’s grace alone for our salvation. It is difficult for our pride to rest on grace. Grace is for other people—for beggars. We don’t want to live by a heavenly welfare system. We want to earn our own way and atone for our own sins. We like to think that we will go to heaven because we deserve to be there. All the suffering I could possibly endure could not earn me a place in heaven. Nor can I merit the merit of Christ through suffering. I am altogether an unprofitable servant who must rely on someone else’s merit to be saved.”
“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” - Romans 8:18
“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” - 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 ESV
Lord, help me to remember that nothing I can ever do will make me worthy of your grace and remind me that nothing I do makes me better than anyone else.
