Is that really what you want?
“For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings.” - Hosea 6:6 ESV
I had just finished writing a devotion on this verse from Hosea when I realized that I had intended to go in a different direction. I would like to think that the Holy Spirit nudges or pulls me or, heck, maybe down right trips me in a direction as I write these. So, lucky you, get two for the price of one.
My first thought as I read this verse were those few (realize I’m being generous to myself at this point) occasions where I’d complain/ask my wife for something. Complain/ask is a verb indicating you ask for something in a backhanded manner intending to guilt your spouse into giving you your way.
For example saying something like “you never let me decide how to organize the stuff in the cabinet and then accept my desire” would be an example of a complain/ask. Usually, my wife just shakes her head and asks me if I am going to be responsible for the organization from now on.
If that response wasn’t thought provoking enough, there have been a few occasions where she looks me straight in the eye and asks me if I really understand what I’m asking of her and if I’m prepared for the ongoing consequences. I know that my attempt at trying to differentiate these replies isn’t making a clear distinction but it goes back to the verse from Hosea. 99.99999% of the time, my wife really wants a partner to do things that impact the two of us together. If she calmly responds to my complain/ask with something like “are you sure that is what you truly want”, that’s when I know that the Haggis is in the fire so to speak. That’s also when I start looking to backpedal.
“An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.” - Proverbs 31:10-31
Now, to be fair, the situation is reversible too (although I wouldn’t say they occur at the same frequency) and a lot of the time, my wife will ask for my input not willing to accept anything other than her assessment of the best course forward but those are different situations. What is and has been most important to her over our almost 39 years of marriage is the attitude described in Hosea 6.
