Holiday Loss

I was on my way out this morning and stopped to get the paper (yes, I’m so old fashioned that I have continued my subscription to a physical paper every day). As I was getting out of my vehicle, the radio DJ mentioned that this was supposed to be the happiest time of the year due to the Christmas holiday but some people may not feel that way because of a family member loss. I believe it was an offer for prayers or some counseling but I really did get out to grab my paper and missed the rest of the message. This got me to thinking about the family I’ve lost over the years.

I was very fortunate in that I lost a grandma at age 5 (so I don’t really remember her) and a great grandma at age 10 (I remember a few things). However, I lost no one else until my Dad passed away after I turned 32, and it was around this time of year. My Dad was 53 and died of a heart attack from uncontrolled diabetes at that young age. I had recently started a new job in Wisconsin and remember being in a fog while I went through the grief cycle. I have no doubt that my Dad loved me very much, although he seldom expressed it.

13 years later, my Mom passed away at 67 from complications due to Lupus at around this time of year. I know my Mom loved me very much. Mom was the quiet, thinking kind of person. She rarely ever displayed being upset about anything but when she did, you didn’t want to be on the receiving end of her wrath. I think I was about 14 and had what we called then Croup. At that time, the pre-teens and older at our church sat separately on the side pews. One of the ushers told me that I was trying to make a scene by coughing so much. When my Mom found out, she barged into the elder meeting later that day and gave them heck using the full weight of her RN credentials. I’ve tried to model my interpersonal interactions from my Mom.

I am comforted in knowing both had a faith in Christ.

But what I am left with now, is that I lost a parent just a few weeks prior to Christmas. And because of that, Christmas has never was the same since. It has lost some of the joy as I can’t help but to ponder on my loss.

Now,15 years later with a daughter-in-law for the last 5 years and a 2-year-old grandchild, I’ve been able to recapture some of the joy I had lost over Christmas but it will never be as it was before I lost them.

I felt compelled to share this for those of you that haven’t lost a significant person in your life, to ask you to look around and consider what those people that are more than just acquaintances may be trying to overcome. If you have lost someone important to you and especially if it was near a holiday, you know exactly what I’m trying to say.

“But Rahab the prostitute and her father’s household and all who belonged to her, Joshua saved alive. And she has lived in Israel to this day, because she hid the messengers whom Joshua sent to spy out Jericho.” - Joshua 6:25

“As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.” -

2 Corinthians 7:9-10

“Even in laughter the heart may ache, and the end of joy may be grief.”- Proverbs 14:13