Fear of the Unknown
“In you, O Lord, do I take refuge; let me never be put to shame; in your righteousness deliver me! Incline your ear to me; rescue me speedily! Be a rock of refuge for me, a strong fortress to save me! For you are my rock and my fortress; and for your name’s sake you lead me and guide me; you take me out of the net they have hidden for me, for you are my refuge. Into your hand I commit my spirit; you have redeemed me, O Lord, faithful God. I hate those who pay regard to worthless idols, but I trust in the Lord. I will rejoice and be glad in your steadfast love, because you have seen my affliction; you have known the distress of my soul, and you have not delivered me into the hand of the enemy; you have set my feet in a broad place. Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am in distress; my eye is wasted from grief; my soul and my body also. For my life is spent with sorrow, and my years with sighing; my strength fails because of my iniquity, and my bones waste away. Because of all my adversaries I have become a reproach, especially to my neighbors, and an object of dread to my acquaintances; those who see me in the street flee from me. I have been forgotten like one who is dead; I have become like a broken vessel. For I hear the whispering of many— terror on every side!— as they scheme together against me, as they plot to take my life. But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, “You are my God.” My times are in your hand; rescue me from the hand of my enemies and from my persecutors! Make your face shine on your servant; save me in your steadfast love! O Lord, let me not be put to shame, for I call upon you; let the wicked be put to shame; let them go silently to Sheol. Let the lying lips be mute, which speak insolently against the righteous in pride and contempt. Oh, how abundant is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you and worked for those who take refuge in you, in the sight of the children of mankind! In the cover of your presence you hide them from the plots of men; you store them in your shelter from the strife of tongues. Blessed be the Lord, for he has wondrously shown his steadfast love to me when I was in a besieged city. I had said in my alarm, “I am cut off from your sight.” But you heard the voice of my pleas for mercy when I cried to you for help. Love the Lord, all you his saints! The Lord preserves the faithful but abundantly repays the one who acts in pride. Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord!” - Psalm 31:1-24 ESV
I was having my quiet time in the word this morning and this chapter was on the agenda and it struck me. You see I’m getting ready for a surgical procedure. I’d guess by the time this is published (if it is), my procedure will be long over. So, it’s not my upcoming procedure I want to write about.
When I read Psalm 31, I picture David hiding somewhere from Saul. A man who has done great things and is loved by many but an influential group of people are so worried about him that they want to kill him. In this Psalm, he talks about his worry but turns it toward the peace and reassurance that he gets from God. In a similar way, this is how I feel about my upcoming procedure (I know I said this devotion wasn’t going to be about that).
Have you ever thought about what your worst fear might be. I think Pastor Patrick mentioned in his sermon that he has an irrational fear of sticking anything in his eye. I really wanted to commiserate with him and tell him about my cataract surgery (in order to put in a replacement lens in your eye, they first have to take out the clouded one which certainly falls into sticking something in your eye). I remember my first follow-up appointment with the doctor when he came in the room and thanked me for sitting so still during the procedure. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I was scared stiff.
This remembrance reminded me of my first (of two) crowns I’ve needed. I have an irrational fear of dentist drills. In fact, I asked for laughing gas for one of my first fillings as an adult. I still don’t like the sound of the drill but I know in my heart that it won’t hurt much and the potential benefit is well worth it. The fear of the procedure was worse than the procedure.
Both of these experiences, and many many more, have led me to embrace that I’m a part of God’s sovereign plan and, even in the worst case I can possibly imagine, my experiences are a part of that plan. As selfishly important to me, this plan is for my overall good.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.” - Jeremiah 29:11-14 ESV
“He determines the number of the stars; he gives to all of them their names. Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; his understanding is beyond measure. The Lord lifts up the humble; he casts the wicked to the ground.” - Psalm 147:4-6 ESV
“And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross. He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him.” - Colossians 2:13-15 ESV
I believe that one of my gifts is the ability to imagine outcomes to evaluate a process/situation/etc. So, I believe I have a good imagination on potential bad things. The good news is that none of them scare me because I have put my faith and trust in God. What else could I ask for?
