Grandma

My grandma, my maternal mother, was an extraordinary person.  She married at 16, raised a girl and 2 boys and helped manage a farm in central Illinois. She was the matriarch of my mom’s side of the family.

She experienced the death of many family members including my mother during my lifetime. Most impactful, she managed my grandpa’s decline and death from dementia. On a personal basis, she decided to live with her increasing hip pain (rather than pursue hip replacement) and lived very frugally her entire life. I remember saying something to my uncle that I hoped she decided to have some fun during what ended up being her final year of life and he shared that she was budgeted a good budget for food and living costs that she rarely ever completely used. The hobby that I remember the most, beyond loving all her kids and grandkids and eventually great grandchildren, was growing violets. I’m not a person with a desire to grow plants but I’ve been told that violets are fairly difficult to propagate.

The thing that I want to share with you today was my grandma’s journaling. I was told that she faithfully journaled every day and she was increasing aware of her imminent demise a couple of days before she passed.

When she passed away, as a tribute to her, I attempted to journal my days using a brand new app that I had found. It wasn’t the paper and pen that she used but I hoped I’d be more diligent if it was on the phone that I usually kept with me at all times. I’m sad to report that this lasted a few weeks before the distractions of work and family and other stuff resulted in me missing days. This lead to missing weeks and shortly discontinuing journaling at all.

I haven’t thought about journaling for years until today when I realized that writing these reflections must give me the benefit my grandma found in journalling daily. Like my faith in God, it isn’t a task that needs to be completed but a journey and relationship with God. These reflections allow me the opportunity to slow my thinking and try to put form and format around my very soul.

I am not recommending everyone write reflections or journal but I do recommend exploring what your faith in God means and, more importantly, how God’s Word and Will for your life, impacts your faith walk.

“For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling, if indeed by putting it on we may not be found naked. For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened—not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee. So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.” - 2 Corinthians 5:1-10 ESV

“Vindicate me, O Lord, for I have walked in my integrity, and I have trusted in the Lord without wavering. Prove me, O Lord, and try me; test my heart and my mind. For your steadfast love is before my eyes, and I walk in your faithfulness.” - Psalm 26:1-3 ESV

“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” - Ephesians 2:8-10 ESV